EYIMBATV: Others

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<span style="background-color: white;">I talk a lot on this website about all the things you should do to be more memorable, charismatic and influential.</span><div style="margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 0px;">
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<span style="background-color: white;"><img br="" height="306" src="http://gltrends.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/18_7-Things-to-STOP-Doing-2.png" style="height: auto; max-width: 100%;" width="320" /> ></span></div>
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<b style="background-color: white;"><br />I write about starting, learning and beginning new habits and behaviors. Some of my favorites:</b></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">But in this post I want to write about what we all need to STOP doing to be better with people; the habits, behaviors and actions we need to curtail if we want to build connection.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">I have been 100% guilty of every item on this list at some point. In fact, I made this list from my own “Behavior File.” I’m a science geek with high neuroticism and love keeping logs, lists and directories of any kind. My Behavior File is a list of behaviors I have tried, attempted, adopted and failed at so I can learn from my previous mistakes.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">Here are the behaviors that we all need to stop. Tweet me your guilty behavior so I don’t feel like I’m the only one!</span></div>
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<b style="background-color: white;">#1: Stop Looking for Validation</b></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">You are worthy. You are awesome. You are fantastic. And deep down, you know it! Stop looking for validation from other people.</span></div>
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<li style="margin: 0px 0px 10px;"><span style="background-color: white;">Why? It doesn’t work. If you don’t feel worthy on the<br />inside nothing on the outside will truly help. Look for<br />ways to feel validated by your own actions, not by<br />other’s words.</span></li>
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<b style="background-color: white;">#2: Stop Apologizing For Who You Are</b></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">Apologies are important. And you should always<br />apologize for what you’ve done, but you should never apologize for who you are. Don’t apologize for sharing your opinion. Don’t apologize for being authentic. And certainly don’t apologize for being yourself. I used to say, “I’m sorry I love science” before sharing a relevant scientific study. Someone called me on it once by saying something like, “Don’t apologize for loving science, own it!” She was right. Now it’s your turn.</span></div>
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<li style="margin: 0px 0px 10px;"><span style="background-color: white;">Why? When you stop apologizing you start owning your opinions, beliefs and voice. For the next week, count all of the times you apologize unnecessarily. Examine the circumstances. Are you really sorry? Or are you just afraid?</span></li>
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<b style="background-color: white;">#3: Stop One-Upping</b></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">That’s a funny story, but here’s a funnier one! That’s a great idea, but here’s a better one. Your smart, I’m smarter! One-upping is when you take someone’s idea and tell them how you did it better, smarter or longer than them.</span></div>
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<li style="margin: 0px 0px 10px;"><span style="background-color: white;">Why: Nothing takes the wind out of someone’s sails<br />faster than a one-upper. Your one-upped story DOESN’T make you seem more impressive, it only makes you seem like a show-off—I know you don’t mean it that way, but that’s how it comes across.</span></li>
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<b style="background-color: white;">#4: Stop Exaggerating</b></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">I almost called this one, “Stop Lying,” but I think that exaggeration is a more accurate behavior for most people. Harmless exaggerating for the sake of a good story isn’t what I am talking about here. I’m talking about stirring up gossip, worrying people or creating drama.</span></div>
<li style="margin: 0px 0px 10px;"><ol style="margin-bottom: 5px; margin-left: 40px; margin-top: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="background-color: white;">Why? Gossip gives us power. There is a reason why so<br />many people gossip. It feels good to be in the know. But exaggeration and gossip is one of the most inauthentic ways to interact because you are creating drama for yourself and others. One day my husband told me that I exaggerate too much. This happened right after I told him that, “The lack of organic produce in our local super market is killing me.” He was like, “Really? Is it killing you? Should I call an ambulance?” Point taken. Here’s my credo: Speak accurately, lie less, stop gossiping.</span></ol>
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<b style="background-color: white;">#5: Stop Pre-Qualifying</b></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">I know this might not be important, but…I’m not sure if this is right, but…How many times have you been in a meeting or a cla$$room and someone raises their hand to answer but spends the first 10 seconds pre-qualifying their answer? This happens when we are nervous that whatever we are going to say isn’t going to be good enough.</span></div>
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<li style="margin: 0px 0px 10px;"><ol style="margin-bottom: 5px; margin-left: 40px; margin-top: 0px; padding: 0px;"><span style="background-color: white;">Why? Not only does this diminish your idea (see #2<br />Apologizing), but it also cues others not to listen to your valuable opinion. This is bold, but here is the rule I have for myself that I hope you will consider implementing:</span></ol>
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<span style="background-color: white;">If you have to say a pre-qualifier, don’t say anything<br />at all. If you are so nervous that you can’t own your<br />answer then maybe it isn’t ready to be shared!</span></div>
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<b style="background-color: white;">#6: Stop One-Downing</b></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">If you think that’s bad, wait until you hear what<br />happened to me! Have you ever shared some bad news or difficulty with someone and then they pounce with their own “even worse” story. One-downing is the flip side to one-upping and it SUCKS! If someone had a hard day, let them have their hard day and show them empathy.</span></div>
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<li style="margin: 0px 0px 10px;"><span style="background-color: white;">Why? When you one-down someone you are dismissing their feelings. You are dismissing their needs. You are dismissing them as a person. Not only does this make them feel terrible, you also miss a connection opportunity with them—instead of feeling bad for you they feel bad for themselves because you brushed off something that mattered to them.</span></li>
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<li style="margin: 0px 0px 10px;"><span style="background-color: white;">Special Note: Sometimes people think that by sharing their hardships they make the person feel like they are not alone. This is true to a certain extent, but there is a difference between commiserating and one-downing. You can tell someone you know how they feel, but don’t tell them that your feelings are more/worse/more notable.</span></li>
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<span style="background-color: white;">#7: Stop Pretending<b></b></span></div>
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You don’t need to pretend to be anyone you’re not. Ask yourself if you ever pretend to be something you’re not. Is it around certain people? What places trigger you to feel less than? Figure out why you don’t feel that you are enough. Get rid of the triggers. Stop going to the places that make you feel like you have to pretend. Decide to own who you are.</div>
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<li style="margin: 0px 0px 10px;">Why? When you show up owning who you are, people<br />respect you and your authenticity shines through. When you pretend to be something you’re not, you miss out on the opportunity to genuinely connect with another person.</li>
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Why do we engage in these behaviors? It all comes down to self-worth. When we feel we are not worthy of love, attention and connection, we one-up to prove ourselves, pretend to be something we are not or fish for compliments. I’m here to tell you that you are worthy— you just have to figure out why. So, here’s my challenge for you:</div>
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<b>Challenge:</b></div>
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<b>Write down the 3 things that you are most proud of.</b></div>
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These can be skills, attributes, past events or things in your life. The qualities, successes and things in your life that you are most proud of are where you get your inner worth. Look at this list and own it. Ready, go:</div>
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<b>Bonus:</b><br />Think of 2 things you can do right now to get more<br />bullets on that list. What have you been waiting to do? What have you been thinking about trying, doing,<br />starting? The time is now.</div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">FEEL FREE TO ADD YOUR OWN</span></h1>
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7 THINGS YOU NEED TO STOP DOING..BY Vanessa Van Edwards -

I talk a lot on this website about all the things you should do to be more memorable, charismatic and influential. > I write about...

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<span style="background-color: white;">S£x is about two ad ults who have mutual agreement to come together but that’s not just all it is!</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">M aking lo ve is not just about the physical inti macy, but also about the actions before and after the act. Your behaviour means a lot to your partner and also is the basis of your future acts of intimacy.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">People often take their partner for granted and behave boori sh. It surely steals the charm of your relationship and also annoys your partner. According to Pawas Kumar, here are some things you must never do after ma king lo ve.</span></div>
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<b style="background-color: white;">1. Rushing to the bathroom</b></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">Getting up and rushing to the bathroom just after ma king lo ve is a terrible idea. Most people go to the bathroom to check their appearance, brush their teeth or take a shower. It is understandable that you want to be clean but sometimes just lying in the bed with your partner is much more intimate.</span></div>
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<b style="background-color: white;">2. Unhygienic action</b></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">lovemaking is an act in which you share your privacy with your partner; still there are limits. Scratching or picking your nose or pa$$ing gas in not at all funny. One must maintain certain etiquette even in their closest moments together.</span></div>
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<b style="background-color: white;">3. Checking your mobile</b></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">Almost everyone does it. Checking your phone just after making love makes your partner feel neglected. We know your time is valuable and you need to stay connected to the world, but the intimate moment with your partner is also a precious one, respect that.</span></div>
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<b style="background-color: white;">4. Dressing to leave</b></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">You are done and you are moving on, certainly it means lo vema king was just another task on your mind. You may be getting late for work but a minute of togetherness when you look into your partners eyes and bond at an emotional level goes a long way in your relationship.</span></div>
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<b style="background-color: white;">5. Saying how go od you were</b></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">You need not to ot your own horn. You may feel that you were “superhuman” in b ed today but saying that makes it cringe-worthy. It is better to compliment your partner, and if she/he feels you were good they will certainly say so.</span></div>
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<b style="background-color: white;">6. Turning on the TV</b></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">Listening to the problems of the free world or catching the latest score just after some great lo ve-ma king may seem to be a very relaxing and luxurious idea but actually it is not. It shows your insensitivity towards the inti macy you just shared. If you have to watch TV, select something both of you can watch together.</span></div>
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<b style="background-color: white;">7. Not cuddling</b></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">Some people just roll over and go to sl eep after ma king lo ve. It is better to cud dle and show your lo ve and affection to each other. Look into each other’s eyes and relax in your partner’s arms. This is a great moment to bond and have a rom antic conversation about your lo ve, dreams and life.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">Yes, these are the seven things that you should not be doing after making lo ve. Don’t repeat these mistakes, to enjoy a great lo vema king experience, and much more!</span></div>
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7 Things You Must NEVER Do Immediately After Having S*x | MUST READ

S£x is about two ad ults who have mutual agreement to come together but that’s not just all it is! M aking lo ve is not just about the ...

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7 THINGS YOU NEED TO STOP DOING..BY Vanessa Van Edwards -

7 Things You Must NEVER Do Immediately After Having S*x | MUST READ

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