While waiting for our 6th trip, alot of other buses had joined the queue. Bayo led me to a bar within the park. As we got in a couple of peeps started hailing him. They were shouting ‘prince’,
‘omooba’, omo aye’..
A lady immediately came to sit on his lap.
Lap sitter: Bayo, you didn’t call me last night. You said you were going to sleep in my house
Bayo: my phone went off, no battery. E no go beta for those chinco people. I buy fone 7k, battery dies less than a day.
Lap sitter : today nko?…Nkwobi dey o..
Bayo: oh Ezinne!…if I no marry you, no other person! Gimme 33.
Saying this, he nonchalantly shoves her up ungentlemanly. She didnt seem to mind.
Ezinne: u nko?
Me: Fanta
Ezinne looked at Bayo with a ‘huh’ expression.
Bayo: bring Fanta for my brother na! Na everybody go be drunkard like your papa? My brother na born-again christian.
I wasnt surprised that she wasnt angry, Bayo just had the charm
Ezinne: na your papa be drunkard!
She said this with a flirtatious look at him. He grinned back.
Ezinne: this your brother fine o, na half-cast?
Bayo: ehn…na same papa born us…but different mama.
Na same mama born am and C.ronaldo. ode! Half-cast ko….full-cast ni.
Bayo picked a copy of complete sports lying on the table. I wondered if he could read. But he seemed to be doing fine going through the papers.
Bayo :This season, that Oscar go blow for chelsea. Na we go carry league!
Me: who told you I am a chelsea supporter?
Bayo: You are my Otunba, you support my club, wear my clothes, shoes…but never my women…lol..you are my brother.
Me: chelsea mtchwww, I will get my own clothes and shoes..just tell me what I need to know abt myself.
In my mind, I knew I was now a chelsea fan.
Shortly afterwards, Ezinne came with the drinks, he spanked her behind as she went away.
Bayo: she has the softest yansh in this park! Believe me!
The funny thing was I believed him.
Me: its 11 na, oya talk!
Bayo: oh okay, I will tell you everything…..
Bayo took a sip of his beer and dropped the papers.
I wanted to scream for him to just get on with it but I kept quiet.
He was wearing a black shirt with blue jeans. He had a ring on his index and pinkie fingers, both left and right.
Bayo: this happened two months ago. My bus had a problem with the break. So I decided to work with alhaji. Alhaji route is mile2 to Iyana Iba. On this faithful day as we dey go, for first gate area of festac, na him we meet accident. The other car , everybody
don die inside. Your car, na only u dey, but your head hit side mirror or so. People just dey look say you too don die. You knw how we dey take fear Ak for this side na, nobody like police report. But Alhaji , very stubborn and powerful stop the bus.
Break ur side mirror, him come dey shout say u neva die! People still no come o..them dey snap picture with their phone. I just clear all the passengera wey dey our bus. Alhaji bring u inside..na him we fire you go Lota hospital.
Me: Any document in the car, like id card etc..atleast to show who I am?
Bayo: na the problem be that, we sell your scrap car to pay hospital bill. Kekere, your car was a writeoff!
Me: so nothing was recovered?
Bayo: nothing.
Me: I must get to Lota hospital and the accident scene. You must help me.
Bayo: no wahala. Tomorrow na salah..we go visit the places.
Me: I promise I will pay you for your trouble and time
Bayo: no worry, I go remove am frm ur daily salary until e go complete.
Me: im not your conductor.
Bayo: conductor ke!…no o…I just sack my conductor this morning. I send the message. Everytime him win Baba ijebu. The next day, him go lie say one of him family members die. After a while I come dey write doen all of them wey him tell me say die.
Him Uncle Ajala don die three times, Auntie ronke hairdresser die, Auntie ronke fish seller die.
You are my Otunba. You no get family wey fit die..lol..
Me: Im not your conductor, by tomorrow I will go home. Find my family, I have a family.
Bayo: You will go home. Family too get their wahala sha o.
His phone rang . After listening for a short time. He stood up.
Bayo: make I meet Ezinne for back, only 5minutes…I no dey tey…shoki ni
Me: can I object?
Bayo: chai, you too smart. When I come back, we do four more trips.. then I will show you something wey go blow your mind!.
WATCH OUT PART FOR 4
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